Relief

My favorite word. It means so much and it sounds just like the feeling. Today I am relieved. Why? Because I finally made up my mind, I finally took a decision. I feel lighter, happier. I thought a lot about my job, about the question to give it up or not. It is a hard decision to make. Nowadays you can not just turn down a job. It's what pays the rent, it's what keeps you safe from all the doubts concerning your life and what you could do to find a job in the domain you actally want to work in. The other possibilty of course is to turn down a job or quit one, because you already have another opportunity. This is not my case. If I leave, I'll have no safety net. But here it is, after a lot of sleepless nights (or at least very short ones) I decided to turn an offer down. It is final. You have no idea how I feel. Of course I am scared, but hey! it is a decision. Decisions are not always granting you a secure feeling. They might even be the wrong ones, you might have to live with your choice all your life. But it is better than not to take action. So here it is: on February 28th I'll be unemployed. Isn't it ironic? It's the day of my brithday. Maybe it is a good sign. I don't know, I don't care because I feel relieved! I suddenly retrieved my energy, my self-consciousnes, my happiness and joy. So you can congratulate me on my future unemployment. How many can say that??? I must be one of the lucky few!